 fct's dancing machine//gfame  |
College life Monday, May 12, 2014 | 0 comment[s] Assalamualaikum. Hi! Yes as stated akhirnya budak dengan ketinggian 140+cm and mentaliti budak 6 tahun dengan fikiran yang alhamdulillah semakin matang dah pun mengorak langkah ke alam baru. [batuk kering] Bayangkan second day aku kat sana terus start class. Hambik kau langsung teda orientation (ada la, tapi setengah hari jak kot hampeh) simpati sungguh aku dengan kepala otak aku masa tu. And dalam minggu tu jugak la pap assignment sebijik like seriously. (sebenarnya aku ada dua lagi assignments masih belum langsai but syukur 3 assignments down yesterday) Aku tak bising sangat dalam class. Aku cuma bising bila ada benda lawak and aku ketawa macam pakcik pakcik lepak kedai mamak. And aku tak tau kenapa aku rasa nak ketawa ja sepanjang kelas. Mana mana kelas la. Nasib tak kena hempuk dengan lecturer. Dah la row depan. -__- Well if aku tak ketawa walaupun sedikit aku cepat mengantuk. Huhu... By the way awal awal lagi aku dah catat sejarah memalukan dalam kelas. Tengah tengah aku buat kerja, aku TERsendawa dengan kuat sekali. Half of the class tersentak sia HAHAHHAHAHA tapi aku tetap meneruskan kerja aku. Thirah kat sebelah dah malu tertunduk malu mengaku aku sebagai kawan. Like srsly aku tak perasan betul aku nak sendawa dia main keluar gitu ja hehe Housemates aku dua orang budak kelantan. Orang Kelantan kan semangat kenegeriannya kuat betul. Paling I cannot la if Thirah and my Kelantanese housemates bincang pasal bola. Aku automatic nya akan menjarakkan diri sebab perdebatan akan menjadi lama ok. Roommate aku budak Kelantan, Jatul nama beliau. Aku study dengan dia selalu. Tapi yea la kalau dah stress sikit2 and ada benda tak faham mana boleh control bahasa (i mean slang ok lol). Anda boleh la imagine sendiri budak Labuan and budak Kelantan berbincang guna bahasa masing2 Kalau pasal minat, aku selalu pasang lagu (well you know what genre) and mujur la ada seorang sekepala dengan aku. Hahaha nasib aku dapat housemates yang memahami antara satu sama lain. Lol kebenda la -__- Tapi boleh dikatakan international sungguh. Sorang hindustan sorang barat sorang kuria sorang bm sorang nasyid. All in one. We are one. #eh Hari Jumaat hari tu aku lepak Starbucks nak buat assignments sebab hari tu kami tiada class. Tiba tiba pulak dapat abe cashier yang terlebih ramah. Tengah tengah aku tunggu order dia tanya, "sekolah cuti ke dik?" Memang sah sampai bila aku tak keluar daripada zon tadika, zon sekolah rendah dan zon sekolah menengah. Hampeh school of tears; cr- bts Friday, April 11, 2014 | 0 comment[s]  ‘Nice kid complex’ that was my illness.(But I was still nice to everyone..)that was my illness. Behind me they talked bad,in front of me they acted nice. I pretended not to notice that school was a battleground. Someone would have brushed it off as something you should not care about. Not perpetrators, not victims, this is a place where we're turned into bystanders. Even if you point your finger at me and call me a coward I’m fine with it. But how would you define it? "You know I can't lend u a hand, if I did that I'll end up the same way as you". Don't be blinded by justice, the hero is dead. This is reality, the only way to survive, there are no options. This is a ring called classroom. This is a stadium with no referees just an audience. You know there will be no victor everyone will lose. In the end school is like a mini society- a jungle made carelessly by adults. They made the weaklings weak, they made the strong powerful. Of course since they were strong they made the weak suffer. A society built on the teachings that friends are only for pretend. The morals of adults made us step on the weak to rise to the top. In a moment of force, "I did not know because I was out of it" became an excuse. That's right, this society is filled with bystanders that are no different than perpetrators. The students trapped inside classrooms known as themselves are also the victims.  Harsh but its kinda.. true? Lol or is it just for me hahaha bye To the most beautiful woman for me, mum ♡ Wednesday, April 9, 2014 | 0 comment[s] Assalamualaikum. Accept what level you are in now and re-plan. Do your very best for your next target. Baru masuk mainstream balik. Common turning point for us to change is at the age of 40. At that time, our perspectives changes a lot. Our view towards life akan lebih cenderung untuk mengenali Allah dengan lebih mendalam. But apa salahnya berubah ke arah yang lebih baik lebih awal supaya jalan untuk bertemu dengan Allah itu lebih mudah? Masuk universiti nanti, bergaul dengan orang yang berbilang kaum/international students kalau ada and observe them. Cara dorang berfikir dan bersaing lain. If you can, contohi yang bagus la. Okay? Nanti belajar jauh jauh, jangan jiwang jiwang rindu kami sampai nda dapat belajar. I hate that. (i cant control myself from laughing) From now on, please focus on yourself. Dont let yourself hurt anymore dengan benda benda yang tak patut. And.. jangan simpan sangat. Because setahu mama, untuk jadi mama yang baik one of the ways is bila anak dia dapat luahkan everything. On top of everything, warisi kekuatan mama. Jangan cepat nangis dan jangan cepat jadi lemah. Be someone yang mama nda kan risau bila mama tiada nanti. Jangan takut untuk buat sesuatu yang bukan kebiasaan kau, jangan malu untuk mula balik dari bawah. Mungkin in the end kau akan jadi orang yang lebih berjaya, ok?  Those are nasihat nasihat my mum to me, only a few. There are a lot but aku share ini ja la for now, moga bermanfaat untuk semua yang sudi baca. And the reason kenapa aku buat compilation nasihat2 mama aku sebab it was her birthday yesterday. Aku patutnya update semalam tapi aku penat gila and terkena writer's block so aku kering idea mau tulis apa. Happy belated birthday, mama :-) There's no words to describe what you mean to me. There's nothing I can do to repay everything you've done to me. There's no one that could replace you, mum. There's no way to regret being your child. There's no imagination I would be without you. Allah created a very beautiful woman with a very beautiful heart, and that's you :-) I'm so sorry to make you sad and dissapointed. I'm so sorry for not being able to be a good daughter and ignorant tahap maksima. I am so sorry because I couldn't control myself from getting mad every time you won't let me do something that I want. I am so sorry for everything that I can't remember one by one. I am so sorry for all the bad words I voiced out when I'm mad. I am so sorry when I forgot to put you in my du'a. I am so sorry for all the death stares I gave when I'm not in a good mood. I'm so sorry for being sarcastic. Because of your powerful du'a, everything actually went easy for me. In the end, I just want to say massive thank you and sorry. I love you so much, mum. I love you. I love you. May Allah grant you jannah. May Allah protects you at all times. Smile, mum. Your smile is one of the most beautiful things I've seen in this world. And mama, no matter how old you'll be, you're beautiful to my eyes. You will always be. I love you, mum. I have one promise for you, I'll make you proud someday :) In Shaa Allah. ♡ result Monday, April 7, 2014 | 0 comment[s] Assalamualaikum. Im going to be straightforward sebab sekarang ni dah tengah malam and aku dimarahi sebab tidur lewat lol. result spm My result is not very good. Masa announcer tu dah habis baca senarai nama orang orang yang dapat straight As, aku terus nangis haha. In a blink of an eye lepas tu semua gelabah "weh, weh jangan la nangis" Tapi aku nangis juga. Then aku terus pergi dekat mama aku cakap sorry and then dia cakap "nara, control la sikit jangan nangis" lepas tu aku stop kejap aku ambil slip and then aku terstuck sebab aku nampak abjad c+ untuk chemistry. Then nangis lagi aku boleh nampak mama aku terkejut tapi dia cool down sbb aku dah bagitau dia awal2 yang aku mmg tak yakin dengan chemist aku lepas spm dulu. Aku kumpul segala semangat untuk jumpa semua cikgu yang dapat aku jumpa untuk ckp thank you tapi aku serius sedih masa jumpa cikgu Ali. Well.. berapa ramai dapat A+ untuk subjek dia tapi aku slack juga addmaths tapi macam biasa cikgu Ali kan cheerful positif gila so dia pun rilek tapi aku still nampak dia.. kecewa dgn aku? Or perasaan aku ja? Entah, biar misteri. Lepas tu junior2 datang tanya result and macam yang aku expect reaksi yang aku dapat bila aku cakap ada c+ "Ahh.." bersama dengan muka tak percaya. Wah perit perit perit. Lepas tu aku ambil peluang untuk tengok rakan rakan lain. Mostly gembira. Mostly ok. To be honest aku rasa kecewa tak terhingga dengan result aku, yang boleh la aku cakap unexpected. Aku larikan diri dari kawan kawan yang cemerlang sebab malu (ketawa hambar) Tapi lepas tu aku senyum lepak balik sebab habis ambil result aku, fadlin, kak pah dengan bape makan kat pantai depan sekolah. Kami ok la, boleh juga menenangkan diri satu sama lain. Pastu mak aku bawa dorang pergi terminal, aku balik rumah. Masuk bilik, aku terus nangis sampai la maghrib tiba. Aku nangis berhari-hari. To be exact. Aku rasa macam putus asa. Dan masa tu la, something terdetik dekat hati. Untuk semua yang berada dalam keadaan seperti aku, atau lebih teruk, i fully understand you guys. Mungkin ada rasa ego sikit dekat diri kita untuk dengar encouraging words from those yang dapat result baik baik, so you might wanna spend your time dekat sini. Bila dapat result yang tidak dijangkakan oleh diri sendiri, most of us akan mula bertanya atau berkata kepada diri sendiri. Whats the use selama ni aku study berabis tapi still dapat macam ni? Kenapa mereka yang study lepak lepak still dapat result yang bagus padahal for nights aku tak tidur untuk study? Kalau la aku dapat yang lebih bagus kan baik.. Orang lain senang la cakap "its okay its okay" sebab dorang bukan ada kat tempat aku. Itu yang common orang cakap. Ada yang fully redha, ada yang redha half-half (sebab terima juga result tu but still questioning why lol), ada yang mula nak mempertikaikan kebolehan orang lain yang dia tak pernah nampak ada tanda-tanda nak kalahkan dia akhirnya, ada yang berabis salahkan diri, dan pelbagai lagi ragam yang infamous lol hahaha. Aku tiba tiba hilang idea nak tulis apa HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AH GILA GILA IDEA AKU MANA KAU HILAAAAAANG God's plans tu like we all know adalah perancangan yang terbaik. If kita still dapat result yang not like we expected before padahal kita dah usaha bermati-matian sebelum ni, maksudnya mmg itu la yang patut kita dapat. Try to be positive walaupun susah. Walaupun dissapointed berabis. Whats the use if we trapped in that situation, questioning ourselves non-stop, blaming this and that sedangkan its the past? Why dont we get our chins back up and move on. Berazam untuk repay balik tangisan yang berliter liter habis masa terima result spm. Why.. should we make this one failure halang kita untuk berjaya balik. Stop that "only ifs". Stop deny benda benda yang positifkan diri kita balik. Buat apa nak cantas flowers that give its fragrance? Mana ada benda yang senang di dunia ni, kau nak buang hajat kat tandas pun susah. (what in the world it doesnt even make sense) And no, jangan cakap "senang la kau cakap sebab kau bukan dekat tempat aku" to me aku baling tulang ayam 1200km/h at a speed of light karang. Aku pun ambil masa berminggu-minggu untuk pulihkan semangat aku balik. Aku pun kena bebel oleh mama aku sebab lemah semangat sangat. Im in this situation juga.. Aku pun pertikaikan result aku.. cuma aku rasa it's not worth it to cry over this anymore. Result ni dah jadi a part of my past. Let's just.. re-evaluate life and do whats best for our future. Let's not do the same mistake anymore. And lastly, betulkanla niat belajar. Patutnya kita timba ilmu tu untuk pencipta ilmu tu sendiri. Yes, for the Almighty. May fate fares us better. Insha Allah. To GFAME Friday, March 28, 2014 | 0 comment[s] You and I were so reckless back then.. lol Even after our graduation, things will remain well.. ok? Those days that I remember, will be unchanged. Our memories.   Now that this has been completed, the reality has still not arrived. Walking around the neighborhood, it seems like it was just yesterday. How about you guys?   Everyday studying through the nights, you came to see me working hard. Some tapped my shoulder saying "You can do this." Some hugged me saying "Still got time to study." Some approached saying "Dont cry this is going to be easy." Some sat beside saying "I also didn't get good grades dont worry." Some whispered "Dont give up I'll help you." The story of our students' life, almost did not make it. But we went through those hard days.   After our graduation, even as time passes, never forget us. Even though time passes, we will remember each other forever.  The reality has not yet arrived, the responsibilities of 20 year old us haven't hit us yet. There's nothing in particular, but time passes so quickly. Sighs. Friends.. Ah.. I'm really sorry for not being able to be a good friend. Guys, you understand..right? Although we graduated from high school.. let's be friends forever, ok? May fate fares you well. My beautiful roses and handsome guns!! Although I cant see you often and I cant contact you guys, ah.. I really.. really, really, really.. LOVE YOU!!!! my facts #1 Friday, March 14, 2014 | 0 comment[s] Assalamualaikum.  Ehe hi. Lama dah aku nda update haha. Who cares anyway lol by the way Im gonna write about myself, because Im positive that no one reads this HAHAHAHA just.. ayo, i admit that I may change myself so maybe next time you meet me or for those yang baru kenal aku in the future, I may not be the old me OR MAYBE NO LOLOLOL apa aku cakap ni == One of the hardest things to do is to achieve someone's standards towards you. But.. it's not right for you to give some hurtful comments to someone who doesn't meet up to your standards. [talks to myself] Before this, I always criticize orang orang yang aku rasa nda capai apa yang aku mau. Well.. for example, when someone couldn't sing well [based on my criteria] but the person is a singer, aku terus comment orang tu padahal at everyone's ears dia nyanyi okay ja pun, aku yang nda ngam lol. Do you get me? It's just an example though supaya message aku sampai HAHAHAHA Im gonna start, okay? I already prepare my mental kalau ada orang baca ni and cakap "eleh kau bukan macam tu pun hahaha minta puji" well hahaha i know myself well okay, its just a matter of time till you realized aku mmg macam ni or you won't because I wont expose my true identity towards you. Theres nothing in between, just that two options lol is this harsh omg sorry.. And aku dah sedia if ada orang nda senang dgn attitude aku or my interests and i apologize for that. In all honesty, if you have something to tell me or if theres anything yang you guys dislike about me, you can always tell me srsly. After all, you and I live in the world filled with criticism and macam tu la kita hidup sebenarnya coughs aku rasa aku berumur cakap macam ni lol   lets see the first question lol HAHAHA THIS IS AWKWARD If you have problems, what will you do? Im a girl.. who easily gets panick lol. I couldn't think straight and akan terus gelabah and all. I'm being honest here walaupun sebenarnya aku nda mau expose diri aku yang ini but yes, I couldn't keep myself calm lol haha dumb. Aku cepat stress, and most of the times I hide my true feelings to myself. There are times yang aku nda mau susahkan orang lain [when truthfully I am a burdensome to everyone around me haha] and there are times Im being too honest to the extend that I'll curse [I rarely curse, sangat jarang, by words or social platforms and if I do.. yeah.. things happen lol] Dulu aku jarang nangis depan orang but dang idk what happen to me aku cepat ternangis [lol ter] and I hate that HAHAHAHAHA I seem so weak la heih. I tried to make myself look strong infront of others but sometime I can't handle myself. I admit, I will always think that life is unfair each time I have problems [rip my bad mentality] Sometimes I want to blame everyone for all of the problems I got but in the end the sole reason for my problems is myself. HAHAHAHAHA LETS DO A CIRCLE HAND IN HAND AND CRY FOR ME But, believe me, even so aku macam ni, I still berfikir dengan rasional. Yes, sometimes I get too emotional, too annoying, but trust me, I'm a girl who always try to develop herself into a better person I.. am.. not.. memuji diri sendiri ni okay hahaha. I can get my chin back up, winks. HAHAHAHAHAHA OK NEXT NEXT!!   [the gifs i put here displayed my reactions exactly the same while typing this lol] ok lets continue lol] Are you good with words? Can you express your feelings well? To be very honest, I am good with words HAHAHAHAHAHA..HAHAHAHAHAHA GILA HAHAHAHAHA PERASAN GILA HAHAHAHAHA no like srsly Im such a pro kalau bab bab tulis cheesy words but to be very honest, not all of the time I put my true feelings masa tulis benda tu. Ceh sekarang ni, cakap i love you tu sangat la senang to the extend, you dont feel anything if someone said it to you. Am I true or am i true lol meaning the ily is so mainstream everyone easily say that to the ones yang kita nda kenal sangat pun, including me HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOW THE SARCASM TOWARDS MYSELF. But in real life, aku.. sebenarnya nda pandai tunjuk sangat. For example, I really love my parents and friends but I cannot show it infront of them. During mother's day, father's day, birthday celebrations, its so hard for me to say "i love you" or even show it through my face bc I will forever making a pokerface padahal dalam hati == When the ppl yang aku rapat ada masalah aku sebenarnya risau tapi reaksi aku tidak menunjukkan sedemikian ashjdjHAHAHAHA T-T Weh, can you understand me hahaha aku cuma boleh tunjuk rasa risau aku rasa sayang aku bila my crazy mode on. Time aku gila gila tu, ha time tu la aku jadi gila peluk kawan kawan aku, hantar flying kiss, cakap aku sayang kau, skinship everything. So in conclusion, Im good with words but not through actions. Dan di kesempatan ini, to everyone yang aku rapat;  [tahan ketawa] guys, although I may not show it or sometimes being so cold towards you guys, you know I love you, right? HAHAHAHAHA NEXT!!!! Your music taste? HAHAHAHAHAHA this is.. kinda.. obvious? Let me clear things up. My favourite genres change based on my mood. When I need some peaceful moments, I listen to Sami Yusuf's songs. You guys should listen to him. His voice is.. mcm mana mau cakap? Musical? Hahah. Most of the times, I listen to kpop, k-hiphop. I listen to covers too. My favs are Sam Tsui's and Boyce Avenue's. When I need to reminisce my old times, I listen to The Beatles, since my brother listen to them. Nowadays, I let myself immersed to Shila Amzah. Not her Malay songs, but Chinese songs. Because for me she let herself all out masa nyanyi lagu cina lol. Tbh, I love listen to songs that can make you dance because I love to dance hahaha. I love songs with most of the parts are rap too. And also, songs played with piano. Ramai tanya kenapa suka korean songs when I dont even understand the lyrics in which.. I dont see thats a big problem. Because its not hard to search the translations lol just taip di youtube and bam you get it. So yes, most of korean songs I listen, aku faham [sebab aku cari translation dia HAHAHA] and yes, I am aware that some kpop songs I have to control myself from listening to them for some reasons that are against my religion. I dont really feel to list my reasons kenapa aku suka k-music because I dont really see the need to, i dont have to defend my interest though sebab penat hahaha. Oh, yes, ditekankan di sini aku dah mula suka k-hiphop in which lagi banyak rap lol. Basically mana mana lagu yang best didengar, aku dengar la haih apa susah sangat ni its music mah, the language is not an important factor kan am i right or am i right hehehe We will continue at the next entry~ HAHAHAHAHAHA I am so speechless right now agagaga bye  spm + sochi 2014 Sunday, February 23, 2014 | 0 comment[s] Assalamualaikum. Update update update! D-25 more to spm result. Kalau cakap pasal perasaan, yes. I'm nervous. It's a lie if I say I don't feel anything, time flies so fast. Mcm baru semalam habis spm ok. ((Mula la mau berhiperbola -,,-)) Btw, how are you guys feeling? I cant talk much and yes the stress is building up right now. Walaupun its only a piece of paper with alphabets written on it. Tapi apa pun yang aku akan dapat nanti, I'll accept it. Insha Allah. [coughs] I hope you guys too! All the best for us!!! =v=/ Tadi trah msg, kesian dia =^= I hope she get well soon supaya dia dapat ikut aktiviti menembak since itu memang impian dia selain daripda memanah. Punya banyak nasihat aku bagi 3 msg berjela within 5 minutes == Walaupun dia sbnarnya lagi rajin makan ubat on time dari aku. I let out a sigh of relief bila she said that theres nothing serious actually. I told her this one quote, "the body achieves what the mind believes" AND BAM TERUS DIA RASA SEMANGAT [laughs] thats what she told me hahaha. And then she said "walau macam mana baik pun kawan kawan yg aku jumpa sini, manada yang boleh ganti kamurang.."    Macam tu la perasaan aku T-T Ok seriously okay == Cepat la plkn habis supaya aku dapat jumpa balik si tyrah dan gfame2 lain ((walaupun semua budak plkn tiba2 buat drama mau plkn 6 bulan sebab keseronokan yang melangkaui lapisan ketujuh bumi)) Btw is there anyone yang tengok Sochi Winter Olympics? If yes you must know about Queen Kim Yuna yang only dapat silver and Russia's Adelina Sotnikova yang menang gold? If nda pun pandai2 la paham okay sebab aku mau meluahkan perasaan unsatisfied I ni lewls like srsly how come la Kim Yuna nda dapat gold? Her performance is so beautiful, it's art ok art. Bila kau tengok dia perform you wont think its a figure skating competition you just simply "wow" with her routine. While Adelina's, memang I agree she got skills but her perf is not as flawless as Kim Yuna's ;-; Its not only me, not only Koreans but basically the whole world terkejut ok dgn keputusan tu ;-; As soon as the result is out, 100,000+ signed up for petition supaya result tu di investigate balik, and the result dapat liputan media luas everyone is like "Kim Yuna should've won gold" CANTIK GILA WEI ROUTINE DIA WEI Adelina ada stumbled at certain parts of her routine and even trembled a little like how can she won gold??? Hwaaa kamu tengok la both of the perfs and tell me, who's better ;~;  Even the Google entitled her as the Queen HAHAHAHAHAHAHA try search Kim Yuna it'll show that lol. AND PLUS SHE WORE A BLACK+PURPLE OUTFIT WHICH IS MY FAVOURITE COMBINATION OF COLOURS AAAAAARGGGHHHH HOW COME LA WEI ei ==   This is not her last perf (the one yg dia pakai purple black outfit) in Sochi but I want to show you why I love this Queen, her moves are so gentle, and her expression okay highlight her expression. If you see her perf in Sochi ya ampun cantik wei T-T Kenapa aku emo sebab that was her last LAST LAST LAST LAST PARTICIPATION IN FIGURE SKATING LEPAS NI DIA DAH RETIRE WEI EI DAH LA YANG MENANG GOLD TU BARU UMUR 17/18 EY bragging pulok tu she was like "my routine is harder than her, my jump is harder than her, so i do skate well." Like duh down to earth la sikit weeeeei okay what am I saying right now hahahaha emo betul -,,,,- By the way besides her ada lagi sorang skater aku minat =w= He's from Japan wohohoho Yuzuru Hanyu!!! But I dont know him much compared to Kim Yuna loooools so yeah aku tunjuk ja la gambar dia k sebab idk what to say abt him actually but he's the champion though :-) I love his moments with Kim Yuna hahaha adorable gila if only Yuna won gold also haih.  Biar kecil hahaha by the way he really look like someone ;~~; SCREAAAAAAMS okay end. Im sorry well aku emotional malam malam buta ni and maybe most of you guys nda faham langsung apa aku luahkan ni but meh faham2 kan la kekeke.   ...just look at that dorks i hate them so much bye (whispers the opposite) |
