Assalamualaikum, peace be upon to you. Aku baru jea buat certain kerja rumah aku tadi harap maklum. Haha. Otak aku rasa mcam nak pecah dengan ayat karangan bagai. So aku rasa aku patut stop kejap and tulis entry pula. Hmm. Sebenarnya aku nak cakap pasal handphone aku yang hilang tempoh hari. Siapa-siapa yang add fb aku atau follow twitter maka mereka akan tahu la pasal kehilangan handphone kesayangan aku tu. Kenapa aku terkilan sangat benda tu hilang? Kena curi? Bukan. Kena ambil? Bukan. Tapi dia hilang dengan penuh misteri. Di bilik sendiri, di rumah sendiri. And my house la aku rasa antara tempat yang selamat daripada perompak atau pencuri mahupun pencopet. Maka, siapa aku nak tuduh kan? Aku cuai? Ya, mungkin. I supposed to give it to my parents before I went back to hostel that day. But it was not the first time I put it at my own room. Aku rasa tiada salah dekat situ. Back to story, aku cari benda tu mcam orang gila okay. I had this thing yang sangat amat allergic dengan habuk. I'll have sore eyes, sore throat and may lead to non-stop coughing or sneezing. And yes, I experienced all those things yesterday. Habis kemas bilik tu aku buat. And suddenly... I knew the true story on how my handphone went missing- the so called mystery had been solved. Cuma satu yang perkataan yang masuk dalam kepala aku masa tu.
WHY? Selama ni aku tanya dia, dia cakap itu dan ini. But I don't know kenapa I shouldn't trust her. My own little sister. Dia terbuang handphone aku tanpa sengaja. SHE THREW IT. SHE WAS FREAKING THREW MY HANDPHONE. Which I haven't use it for one year, aku baru guna handphone tu less than 9 months! Before I knew the true story she was telling me lies. Lies. And I felt stupid for not knowing the truth and act like a dumb. And yesterday I had a heart to heart conversation dengan dia. Why did she do this to me? Why she didn't tell me the truth? Why she ignored me each time I ask about my phone? Why did SHE FREAKING LYING TO ME? And aku sendiri terkejut how I could controlled myself from getting angry. Aku tak tahu macam mana aku boleh kontrol diri aku daripada naikkan suara. I was dumbfounded masa tu. I was literally shocked. I was speechless. I felt stupid.
Last night aku bukan sahaja nasihat pasal handphone but I told her everything yang aku rasa selama ni. I told her everything. I told her yang aku penat. Aku penat handle things in my life. Aku penat kena tipu. Aku penat kena marah. Aku penat kena mainkan. Aku penat kena bandingkan. Aku penat jadi orang tengah. Aku kadangkala penat hidup di asrama. Aku penat hidup di rumah. Aku penat bila people around me cuma nampak aku bila aku buat salah. I cried. She cried. We both cried. Each time my mum said I am not a good sister, aku diam and terima apa yang dia cakap. I think I am. But all this time bila my siblings have problems atau kena marah, I will always be there. Dengar dorang kena marah. Tenangkan adik-adik aku. But bila aku yang kena marah or what, they hide themselves. They ignored me. They broke my stuffs, they do problems and let me solve it, they don't care if my parents scold me, when they have problems they tell me but they don't do the same for me. I'm still not good enough to be a trustworthy sister? At last aku tahu kenapa dia tipu aku. Dia takut bagitau aku hal sebenar. I try to understand. Damn, I try hard. And now, my little sister slowly change. To be better. And I'm grateful for that. Shhh, life do harsh on me sometimes. *sigh*
But to think back, aku selalu tipu orang. Hah. But seriously, don't tell lies to people kalau benda tu akan buat orang lain suffer. Jangan, benda tu akan kena balik dekat kau. Bukan sekarang but later. Apa yang selalu aku tipu?
THIS. EACH TIME PEOPLE ASK ME "KAU OKAY?" WHERE OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT I'LL SAY "AKU OKAY" AND PUT THAT BIG FAKE SMILE. HEH
Assalamualaikum, peace be upon to you. Aku baru jea buat certain kerja rumah aku tadi harap maklum. Haha. Otak aku rasa mcam nak pecah dengan ayat karangan bagai. So aku rasa aku patut stop kejap and tulis entry pula. Hmm. Sebenarnya aku nak cakap pasal handphone aku yang hilang tempoh hari. Siapa-siapa yang add fb aku atau follow twitter maka mereka akan tahu la pasal kehilangan handphone kesayangan aku tu. Kenapa aku terkilan sangat benda tu hilang? Kena curi? Bukan. Kena ambil? Bukan. Tapi dia hilang dengan penuh misteri. Di bilik sendiri, di rumah sendiri. And my house la aku rasa antara tempat yang selamat daripada perompak atau pencuri mahupun pencopet. Maka, siapa aku nak tuduh kan? Aku cuai? Ya, mungkin. I supposed to give it to my parents before I went back to hostel that day. But it was not the first time I put it at my own room. Aku rasa tiada salah dekat situ. Back to story, aku cari benda tu mcam orang gila okay. I had this thing yang sangat amat allergic dengan habuk. I'll have sore eyes, sore throat and may lead to non-stop coughing or sneezing. And yes, I experienced all those things yesterday. Habis kemas bilik tu aku buat. And suddenly... I knew the true story on how my handphone went missing- the so called mystery had been solved. Cuma satu yang perkataan yang masuk dalam kepala aku masa tu.
WHY? Selama ni aku tanya dia, dia cakap itu dan ini. But I don't know kenapa I shouldn't trust her. My own little sister. Dia terbuang handphone aku tanpa sengaja. SHE THREW IT. SHE WAS FREAKING THREW MY HANDPHONE. Which I haven't use it for one year, aku baru guna handphone tu less than 9 months! Before I knew the true story she was telling me lies. Lies. And I felt stupid for not knowing the truth and act like a dumb. And yesterday I had a heart to heart conversation dengan dia. Why did she do this to me? Why she didn't tell me the truth? Why she ignored me each time I ask about my phone? Why did SHE FREAKING LYING TO ME? And aku sendiri terkejut how I could controlled myself from getting angry. Aku tak tahu macam mana aku boleh kontrol diri aku daripada naikkan suara. I was dumbfounded masa tu. I was literally shocked. I was speechless. I felt stupid.
Last night aku bukan sahaja nasihat pasal handphone but I told her everything yang aku rasa selama ni. I told her everything. I told her yang aku penat. Aku penat handle things in my life. Aku penat kena tipu. Aku penat kena marah. Aku penat kena mainkan. Aku penat kena bandingkan. Aku penat jadi orang tengah. Aku kadangkala penat hidup di asrama. Aku penat hidup di rumah. Aku penat bila people around me cuma nampak aku bila aku buat salah. I cried. She cried. We both cried. Each time my mum said I am not a good sister, aku diam and terima apa yang dia cakap. I think I am. But all this time bila my siblings have problems atau kena marah, I will always be there. Dengar dorang kena marah. Tenangkan adik-adik aku. But bila aku yang kena marah or what, they hide themselves. They ignored me. They broke my stuffs, they do problems and let me solve it, they don't care if my parents scold me, when they have problems they tell me but they don't do the same for me. I'm still not good enough to be a trustworthy sister? At last aku tahu kenapa dia tipu aku. Dia takut bagitau aku hal sebenar. I try to understand. Damn, I try hard. And now, my little sister slowly change. To be better. And I'm grateful for that. Shhh, life do harsh on me sometimes. *sigh*
But to think back, aku selalu tipu orang. Hah. But seriously, don't tell lies to people kalau benda tu akan buat orang lain suffer. Jangan, benda tu akan kena balik dekat kau. Bukan sekarang but later. Apa yang selalu aku tipu?
THIS. EACH TIME PEOPLE ASK ME "KAU OKAY?" WHERE OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT I'LL SAY "AKU OKAY" AND PUT THAT BIG FAKE SMILE. HEH
PROFILE
A girl with a lot of flaws. She went to the wrong ways too often and when she saw the light at the end of the road, she tried hard to reach it but on her way she fell, she tripped and the light dimmed. She nearly gave up but she didn't. She then realized that if she never went through those ups and downs she will never appreciate life as she is now.
